I was asked how I’m doing

I just learned the FBI has stopped just putting trans women on lists and threatening them (and companies associated with healthcare) and has started following them (and invading homes) and is about to open up terrorism cases against activists in order to fabricate the narrative that all trans people are terrorists to back up their threats against all gender affirming healthcare and disappear even more people than have already been disappeared. I knew it was coming, I was just hoping it was coming slow enough that it wouldn’t arrive. But now it seems clear things are going to get a lot worse in the next few years before we have any chance of it getting better.

It feels hopeless to try to do anything, because there’s nothing I can do. And while I’m not a public figure, and thus much lower on the lists, I’m still there. Just because I’m last in line to be targeted doesn’t make it any better.

And unfortunately I was doing some reading and stumbled across some other really blatantly evil stuff being done by the federal government so I was already feeling rather depressed and trying to move on and ignore it because I can’t do anything about it and it is only causing me more harm to stress about it.

It’s also deeply upsetting because it’s the kind of thing most people don’t believe is happening, even if you clearly demonstrate evidence. So there’s not much push back. I’m being demonized just for existing, just like so many other people, and it’s just a small part of a much bigger plan to continue regressing on all human rights issues.

And this is after similar efforts stripped me of access to healthcare and even before that, I was arbitrarily denied most of what I need. So it’s not like I was getting anything I deserve anyhow. But now I’ll also be killed for needing it. Someday.

A year ago, I was talking to my partner about how we probably should leave the country because it’s only a matter of time before we are targeted, and it’ll be too late to leave well before that happens. Shortly after, trans people were banned from leaving the country. It’s already been too late for most of a year.

I dunno if you heard about that. It’s old news at this point, but they just stopped issuing passports for trans people. And they target trans people who already have one to make it more difficult to leave for any reason.

I think the most upsetting part is how it’s cruelty for no benefit. These efforts only extend harm to a broad range of people by targeting a minority. There is not a single shred of benefit for anyone. Not even the rich and powerful, because the economic harm does more to them than any consolidation of power assists them. :/

Ostensibly, the point is that trans people are more likely to advocate for positive change, because just being trans makes someone much more likely to recognize how many systems in place don’t actually benefit the majority. And they want to stop progress. But it doesn’t even really achieve that goal because it just highlights how bad things are.

i made a forum

Real-time interaction has been too much for me, and I miss forums, so I made one at https://forum.tangentfox.com/. You should check it out. I’ve temporarily allowed posting without a login to try to get people talking.

Since I recently decided I’ll “cross-promote” videos when I have blog posts that are otherwise meh, here’s what happened when I first tried KSP 2:

Hello, again

I started blogging on April 10th, 2010 on WordPress.com. I made posts roughly every 2 days until November 11, 2012. They weren’t good. At some point, I was mature enough to realize this and hid them all from public viewing. I’ve built a couple websites that are also gone, they had their own blogs. I used Twitter before a fascist killed it, and use Bluesky now.

This blog was hosted on a DigitalOcean server until a few weeks ago. I was naive enough when they gave me 2 years of free usage to think it would continue being a good deal, and then was too busy to cancel for years. They got their money, I regret it some, but now I’m running on my own hardware.

I have varying quality standards, and keep not posting because I haven’t made anything specifically for this blog. I overcorrect back and forth between caring too much or too little. Recently, I’ve been caring too much, and so I haven’t been sharing things I should’ve shared. I don’t think I’ll fix that problem, but I have an idea on how to reduce it. I’m going to set up a Lemmy instance I set up a forum, so that it’s easier to communicate with me about things I make/share, as well as rate them. Over time, I should have a better idea what goes well, and what are mistakes.

I probably shouldn’t just make an aspirational post without something to show, but I don’t care so much right now, I care that I say I’m not dead, things are getting better for me, and I have plans.

Unrelated video I made “recently” about making your own cheap notepad. More info.

Edited 2025-04-07: Lemmy proved to be too difficult to get working, so I have a simple forum in its place.

it’s a small world, but my head is in space

Sometimes life rhymes in weird ways. It’s a small world.

Approximately 14 years ago, I discovered the game Elite, and open-source reimplementation called Oolite. I was hooked conceptually (because I sucked at the game, I never played it for that much time before giving up again).

I spent a lot of time looking at all the mods for it, and in that search, I stumbled across a promo video for one of the mods that featured really nice music:

So good that every few years I come back to it and play that video again. Somehow I never looked at the channel itself, just that one video, until tonight, where I discover that not only did they make the music used in that video, but they’ve made a good amount of music over all these years. They’ve a Bandcamp and a SoundCloud.

And then I noticed they make mods for a game called Trainz, which I stumbled across in a bargain bin years before I played Oolite. I didn’t get much chance to play it, but I always wanted to. This same person has just been involved with two random relatively obscure games I enjoyed and I kept coming back to this one video and not seeing these other spurious connections.

There’s no deep plot or special meaning here. I’m just tickled to discover these random connections and hope others enjoy their music too.