(This post has been imported from an old blog of mine.)
A heavy cloud layer, lightning and thunder, the pitter-patter of rain. It was a dark and stormy night. A summer storm though, it wasn’t that cold, I lay down with nothing more than a sheet half on.
A small red pinprick of light comes from my left eye, or should I say, where my eye used to be. The other is closed, I am trying to go to sleep.
I used to be scared of the dark. Lightning flashes, showing off the jagged scar across my right cheek. It looks fresh, but is nearly a year old. Thunder booms. Not anymore.
More quick flashes, my back has claw marks raking down either side. These look fresh as well, but are just as old. Blood doesn’t seep from them anymore, but they look like they should. Thunder booms. I’ve learned there are things much worse to be afraid of.
I am always trying to sleep, but I never get there. It’s strange, if you’d asked me ten years ago if having part of your brain replaced with technology, if that part was still you, if you were still the same person, I would’ve said no. Stranger still is the feeling of having a part of you that is not you, but still is you.
It was five years ago when that happened, a bomb, gunfire, who knows what, something blew away a chunk of my head. I was lucky they’d said, they had been able to repair the damage, replace the section that wouldn’t grow back, including an eye.
I don’t remember much of what happened while I was in the hospital. When I finally remembered who I was before, I couldn’t recall what it had been like to not know. Going to bed that first night had been strange. I feel asleep, but a piece of me was still aware. I felt almost like I hadn’t fallen asleep until I woke up, I could remember staring off into space with one eye all night, but at the same time I felt well rested.
The next night I’d dreamed. I could remember the dreams with startling clarity, I still remember them. Half of me isn’t me but is me, and I’m always awake. That’s why I’m always trying to go to sleep, and never quite make it. Sometimes I want to bash out the electronic eye, sometimes I want to bash out the whole thing. Most of the time it was comforting to be able to wake myself up in an instant if there was danger.
Until a year ago, when I got those scars. Now it’s sleep I fear. Normally it can’t be seen, but tonight the flashes light it up for anyone watching. Blood begins to leak from my back, from my face, spiraling in crazy patterns and slowly crawling over my body until it is covered in black ichor.
The organic part of me is gone, replaced by something else, but I still see for a moment longer as I am lifted from the pillow by a body that is not mine. The blood flows over my eye, but I still hear. I don’t know why they included a microphone, my ear was still there, worked better than new after their surgery. I’m still not sure if I’m thankful for that or not.
Because I hear screams.
So if you’re wondering where that came from, the night before last when I was trying to go to sleep, I imagined myself with strange scars and a robotic left eye trying to sleep, thinking about how the technological part is always awake, imaging through flashes of lightning you see black blood running out of the wounds.
I saw this scene as an ad for a movie, and wrote it that way when I thought to write it down yesterday at lunch over the course of about half an hour. Anyhow, I hope you enjoyed, especially the last line, my favorite. Originally was gonna be titled “I Hear Screams” but that would’ve given away the whole point of the story.
I’m looking for feedback on this one, because I have no idea where to go with it from here, and I do want to go somewhere with it. So please, any and all comments, questions, suggestions, complaints, rambles, general nonsense welcome.
